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While you are asking your partner to treat you differently, make sure that you understand the role you play.
You and your spouse do not live in the same world. You never will. Your internal dictionary is different than theirs so misunderstanding happens easy.
When yo guys disagree, sometimes it is hard to still be kind to one another. I want to encourage you to make kindness and respect your default.
Listen. Forsake not the assembling of yourselves in the bedroom! If you want to have a successful marriage, you have to do like Martin said: “Knockin da boots Gina, Knocking da boots!”
When we humans are well connected, we thrive. Your marriage will suffer severely if you guys are disconnected too long too often. God created us for connection. Protect it at all costs.
Without trust it is impossible to have a healthy marriage. Trust is earned in drips but lost by the buckets. You must protect the trust in your marriage at all costs.
What is your “why” for the way you love your partner? If you are loving them only for their satisfaction then you are in danger of being a flaky lover.
If you are going to be successful at marriage, you will have to be intentional about the way you love.
How you learned to do life in childhood is pretty much how you will do it throughout life. But, if you learned it wrong you will live it wrong. Do not underestimate the impact of your childhood on your marriage.
When it comes to marriage, you want to trust the creator of marriage more than you trust your own wisdom. Who taught you how to do marriage?
Your happiness is your responsibility, not your spouse’s. If you got married looking for happiness then that may be the reason you are struggling.
Your friendship is foundational for your marriage. When you strengthen your friendship you strengthen your marriage.
Fear and Pride are the “evil twins” of life and marriage. Fear opens the door and pride walks in. When you are operating in pride, you are grave danger!
You must learn how to handle your anger. If you do not, it can cost you more than you are willing to pay.
Personal development must be a top priority if you are going to do marriage and/or life well.
You have to be careful of what you say to your partner. Do not let your mouth write a check that your heart can’t cash.
Over the next 30 days I am going to share with you 30 things you need to know to have a successful marriage.
You don’t have to settle for “good enough.” You were created to be great. There is something you are supposed to give to the world. But you will delay that reality if you never give you the chance to be great.
Most people are unaware of the difference between coaching and therapy. Let me help you understand this better.
If you fail to prepare then be prepared to fail. Marriage is not one of those things you can just figure out and be great at it. You have to be intentional about doing marriage better. Most people are unprepared to do what they have vowed to do. People get married for “Better,” but I want to help as many people as I can get prepared for “worst.”
Many times we miss opportunities for connection or support because they are not announced with flashing lights and sirens. You have to be tuned in to your partner.
When your partner is hurt, even if you caused the hurt, be intentional and quick about tending to their injury. Those are the moments where your intimacy increases.
Therapy works if you do. It is not a magic trick or microwavable life change. You have to do the work your therapist tells you to do in order to see the results you are hoping to see.
Your words and your behavior are a reflection of what is in your heart. No one can make you angry, bitter, or mean. Those things come from your heart. People will hurt you, but what you do with that hurt is up to you.
You may be blaming your partner for things they are not responsible for.