A few years ago, "do it for the vine" was a popular saying that came from a video that went viral. When it comes to having a successful marriage, I encourage you to do it for the Vine.
What does it mean to "do it for the vine?" Well, one the last times that Jesus talked to his disciples before they killed him, he told them how to be successful at whatever they do. He said, "I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in me you will bear much fruit" If you want to read more about that, it is in The Gospel of John, chapter 15.
Here is what I mean by "do it for the vine." God is the vine I am referring to. In marriage, do what you do for God. Learn to serve your partner for God's approval, not your partner's. The reason this is crucially important is because it can help you treat them right when you feel like treating them wrong. Don't lie to yourself...you KNOW you want to treat them wrong sometimes. Not in a premeditated way, but in a "ugly reaction" kind of way.
The way that you can stay off of what I call the "Crazy Train" is by changing the motive for which you do things. (I'm not going to spend time right now diving into it, but remember that "Love" in marriage is the same as "being a servant.")
When you serve your partner for the approval of your partner then you are less likely to serve them well when they upset you. But when you serve your partner for God's approval, instead of your partner's approval, you are more likely to serve them even though you may not like them in the moment.
So many times in my own marriage I did not feel like being kind, or talking, or putting her desk together because I didn't like her in the moment. But the reason I still did those things is because I had already decided that I wanted to be a good husband for God's approval, not my wife's.
If you are thinking to yourself, "that sounds hard," it is. At first. But because I wanted to make God smile more than I wanted to make my wife smile, I committed to loving Him more which by default meant I would love her more.
You cannot have the mindset of, "that's not fair," and be successful at this. And I dare say, you will not be successful at marriage period if you believe that "fairness" is a real thing. The concept of 'fair' is a fallacy on this planet. Instead, you need a marriage mindset. That is a mindset of humility. Again, I know it is not easy. If it were, then everybody would be doing it.
Just remember, the "average" marriage ends in divorce. If you want an uncommon marriage then you must have an uncommon approach to doing it. God's way is uncommon (even though it shouldn't be).