Someone asked me once, "what is the number one skill that a person needs in order to be successful at marriage?" Most people would say it is communication. You do need to be an effective communicator, but that's not the number one skill. Some would say "emotional maturity." Another good guess, but no cigar.

The number one skill that every married person needs to be committed to is personal development. The reality is that all of us are flawed. All of us humans have issues. The only way for two flawed humans to have a successful marriage is to be committed to growing into the persons God created them to be.

In actuality, personal development is more of a mindset than a skill. I strongly encourage you to BE the kind of person that is not satisfied with average. Being committed to personal development is a commitment to grow. Nothing will require you to grow like relationships, especially marriage.

Sometimes when I work with people I will tell them to read a certain book. When they tell me "I don't like to read," I usually think, "That is why your life looks the way it does." You have to realize that there is so much about life you do not know or understand. How will you become better if you do not read? Who taught you how to do marriage?

Here are some reasons you should be committed to personal development:

You love your partner and you want to give them the best of you.
You are blocking blessings God wants to give you because you are not mature enough to receive them.
You likely came out of childhood without a clear sense of who you are.
God is anti-average (Revelation 3:15-17)
Nobody taught you how to love
Your children deserve a better parent!

The only things that do not grow are dead things. While all of us are dying, if you are not growing you are dying faster.

The bulk of marriage work is individual work. Your biggest challenge is not your partner's behavior, but it is how you respond to your partner's behavior. And you cannot respond well if you are not growing.

Again, it seems simple, but do not over look ANY of these 30 things. Personal development may be the determining factor of what your life will look like in 5 years. And the truth is, your relationship with yourself is going to directly affect your relationship with God.

If you are going to have a successful marriage, in light of the fact that you both are flawed, you need to be committed to personal development.