You've probably heard the saying, "Love is blind." This is a true saying if we are saying what scripture already says, which is that "Love covers a multitude of sins." However, a while back I learned something about anger that I believe is crucial for you to understand if you are going to be successful at marriage.

My wife and I was having "intense fellowship" (that means we were having a conflict) and I was angry about the way she was interpreting my behavior. SIDE NOTE: The fact that I was angry because of "HER interpretation" should have been a clue that sin was crouching at my door...we call that "Pride."

As we were talking, she became frustrated and began to cry. When she began to cry, I stopped talking, but I was unable to do what I tell clients to do. In that moment she needed my comfort and I did not give it. The next day as I was processing my immature behavior, I realized why I did not (and actually could not) offer her comfort.

My anger blinded me to the reality of the love between us. In that moment, my pride had me more focused on my anger than her tears. THAT IS DANGEROUS!! Please hear me, that behavior is anti-marriage, anti-love and just flat-out wrong.

But here's what I learned from that. When the bible says, "Don't sin by letting anger control you," it is because anger kicks the door wide open for pride to walk in. When you operate in pride, NOTHING good can ever come of it. I often hear people say, "when we are good we are good, but when we are bad it is really bad." Why? Because when you are angry you are less likely to see your spouse as your life partner. It is easier to see and treat them as your enemy. They are not!

You may not like what they've done or said. You may not like their lack of support or comfort. But they are not your enemy. You need to be aware that anger, if not handled properly, can destroy your marriage. I'm not telling you to never get angry. But I am saying, do not interact with your partner while you are angry. It will cost you too much.