Another argument. Another lie. Another disappointment. You are tired of the lack of communication and misunderstanding. Tired of the blaming and pettiness. This is not what you thought marriage would be! You signed up to do "Forever" but right now you are struggling to make it through "today." You both agree that it's time to seek out a therapist that can help you get on track. But how do you choose the right therapist?
Choosing the right therapist is not the most difficult thing to do, HOWEVER, it is very important to not choose someone just because they say they are a therapist. All therapist are not created equal. Here are a few things you should look for when you are trying to choose a therapist for marriage counseling.
They should be licensed in "marriage" therapy. Not all therapist are licensed as a marriage therapist. A licensed marriage therapist will have LMFT or LMFTA after their name, which stands for Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (Associate). We are trained a little differently that an LPC (licensed professional counselor). Our training heavily involves understanding systems theory (relationships are systems) and how we grow and develop in the context of relationships. LPC's focus more on the individual. That is not to say that an LPC could not do marriage counseling. It is the difference between taking your iPhone to the Apple Store vs. Radio Shack to be checked.
They should be experienced. Everyone has to start somewhere, but when it comes to the most important relationship you have, experience is very important. An experienced therapist will know how approach your specific issue and not simply treat you like the "textbook" says.
Check their reviews. Almost everything we try these days is based on what the reviews say. What are people saying about the therapist you are considering? You have to make your decision for yourself, but do not ignore what others have experienced.
They should not be self-seeking. There are horror stories of therapists pushing what they want more than what the client wants. Therapists are like guides. You tell them what you want to accomplish and they will guide you to that end.
They should be personable. When you meet with your therapist there should be a connection. You need someone who will be interested in learning how best to help you as opposed to having a "cookie-cutter" suggestions.
The reason we offer a complimentary 30 minute consultation is to give you a chance to get a feel for the therapist before you commit to working with him.