I remember as a kid when I first watched The Wizard of Oz, I thought it was funny that the Wizard was not really 'all-knowing and powerful' once they pulled the curtain back. What the people saw was this awesome being that they reverenced as mighty and unlike them. However, Toto pulled back the curtain and exposed the Wizard. Turns out, he is but a human...frail, flawed and imperfect, just like everyone else. When he noticed that he was exposed he tried to quickly cover up his secret but it was too late.

As dishonest as that was for Oscar Diggs to pretend to be the Wizard, most today people live their lives behind the curtain. People are deathly afraid of being exposed as human. But we shouldn't blame people for being afraid to be human. We shame people for being human. We laugh at people for being human. We take out our cell phones and record people when they are being human so that they can post it on the biggest human shamer, "World Star." So of course, being authentically human is not that attractive. But here's the problem. You ARE human! Trying to convince the world that you are not human is going to make life hard and open the door for depression, anxiety, and a lot of other unnecessary things.

Hiding Behind the Curtain

We learn to "hide" when we are very young, usually within the first 8 years of life. We learn that having needs is bad. We learn that we are not good enough. We learn that we are not worth the sacrifice of love. We learn that crying is weak and we don't want to be seen as weak. That's actually what put this on my mind to write this. I had a close friend tell me that they didn't tell me about what was going on in their life because they did not want to cry. It made me think...why do we hate to cry? Crying is one of the most human things we Earthlings do! It is not human, nor is it strong, to be hurt and act as if nothing is wrong...hiding behind the curtain.

The Pain of Hiding

What I told my friend, and what I tell my clients often is that we are not meant to do life alone. When you try to do life alone are pretty much guaranteed to harm yourself emotionally. Even in the beginning when God created Adam He said 'it is not good that man be alone.' He said that even though Adam had a relationship with Him. I am convinced that having fun alone is boring, but hurting alone is painful. So you deal with the pain that you are dealing with plus the pain of dealing with it alone. When I'm in pain, I may not call anyone to come and see about me (I'm working thru my shame just like you) but I'm definitely not going to push people away who care about me. When you hide your humanity, you heighten your pain and your struggle. As I've gotten older AND as I have done the work to overcome shame, I am embracing being human more and more. One day it just dawned on me...those people that are laughing, talking or pointing fingers are human just like me! As a matter fact, the reason they are judging and criticizing is probably to help them stay behind the curtain.

The 'Myth' of Being 'Strong Enough'

People often say "God won't put more on you than you can bear." That is not true! They are usually misunderstanding the scripture that says He will not allow you to be TEMPTED beyond what you can bear. Galatians 6:2 says, "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." If you were strong enough to do life alone then He would not have said "bear one another's burdens." If I can carry it then I don't need help. This is the beauty and value of genuine friendship. When life gets too heavy, and trust me it will, then you need friends to help you carry it. However that can't happen if you hide behind the curtain and pretend you have it all together.

The Danger of Hiding

The more you hide, the more non-human you act, the more you become harmful to yourself AND others. Hiding behind the curtain makes you envious, critical, blaming, shaming and perfectionistic. You will be focused on what you think others want you to be. But you will also be harming yourself more than you know. Maybe you've convinced yourself that no one cares. Find someone that does!! After while, if you hide too long trying to convince others of your strength and how well you have it together, you are going to start believing that you actually are the Wizard. You will become so accustomed to what Charles Whitfield calls your "false self" that your real self feels wrong. When you try to drive a car with no oil, it will malfunction because it was not designed for that. If you try to use your MacBook Pro to FaceTime underwater it will malfunction because it was not designed for that. If YOU (human) try to do life alone you will malfunction because you were not designed for that.

Here are some signs that suggest you are hiding:

You can't cry in front of others
You think crying is weak
You feel like you always have to be right
You consider yourself an Alpha Male
You can't leave the house without makeup
You claim to be 100% authentic
You excuse your rudeness as being "real"
You lack compassion
You are often critical
You don't feel good enough
You believe you are so different that something is innately wrong with you
You have to respond to every critic
You would rather be alone when you are hurting
You are a loner
You care a lot about what other people think
You are a man (most men are hiding because we do not know how to parent little boys without shaming them)
You don't trust anyone
You are always happy