You may not have know that there is actually a difference between coaching and therapy. When I tell people that I provide individual counseling and marriage coaching they are usually confused. So I thought I would explain it here for you. You can also watch a video that I did on the topic about a year ago on YouTube.

I like to explain the difference between coaching and therapy by highlighting the difference between being hurt and being injured. Since my favorite sport is basketball, I’ll use it as an example. One time when in college, I went up for a layup but someone undercut my legs and I ended up falling on my head. Well, part of my head…my hands and arms broke the fall mostly, but I was still I great pain. After about 5 minutes I was ready to play again, and I did. Although I was hurt I was still able to play. Contrast that with Kevin Durant’s ruptured achilles tendon. I was hurt but I was still able to play. Kevin Durant was injured so he was not able to continue to play. Because I could still play, I needed a coach. Durant did not need a coach because he needed to heal…he needed a doctor / physical therapist.

When you are hurt you need a coach. When you are injured you need a therapist. As far as marriage goes, you need a coach. However, when one or both people in the marriage are injured, they will not benefit much from coaching because they have things they need to heal before they can receive coaching. Coaching is more about guidance and skills, whereas therapy is about healing and restoring normalcy. We humans are created to function a certain way in order to thrive. Sometimes, life happens and causes injuries that impede us from thriving. Therapy helps restore what was broken in childhood, like healing Durant’s tendon. It is normal for humans to be emotionally whole. It is normal to not carry shame. It is normal to have boundaries. So going through therapy should help you be restored to normalcy. Once you get a reset, you are ready for coaching. Thriving can only happen after healing, period.

This means that therapy is not really for marriage. Marriages need coaches, individuals need therapy. The same is true in your individual life if you are single. If you have injuries that you need to heal, you have to do that before you can thrive. Unfortunately because this is not a well known explanation, most people come to marriage counseling (coaching) but actually need individual therapy. Couple’s who need individual work but do not get it before we do marriage counseling end up being repeat clients more often.

So which one do you believe you need? Coaching or therapy? Currently with us, there is no price difference, but soon there will be.