Marriage is crazy. It is probably one of the greatest paradoxes of all time. Only in marriage can two opposites be true: Marriage can bring you the greatest joy, and it can cause you the greatest pain. Marriage can be the greatest dream you can have and yet it can also become the greatest nightmare. As a matter of fact, the paradox of the Human experience is that the thing that draws us to a person is the exact same thing that drives us away from them. Marriage is crazy. My wife doesn't like it when I say that but it is true. However, what is not true is that "crazy" means we can never truly be happy.

Even though you may feel like you have tried everything you know how to try and even though it may seem like you married the wrong person, there is hope. I have had some of the most difficult couples in my office and they were able to finally stop the crazy cycle, get off of the rollercoaster and learn to love. Husbands who felt like their wives never listened to their ideas and treated them like a child. Wives who felt like their husbands were clueless on what their emotional needs were and how to meet them. Couples who had no idea how to talk for more than 10 minutes without fighting, accusing, shutting down and building a wall. They were able to come back from the abyss and start to loving again through the process of marriage counseling.

It is true that usually by the time a couple decides to call me for marriage counseling they have already been flirting with the idea of divorce. Some have actually even decided that divorce was inevitable but want do therapy first so that they can say they tried everything. I became a therapist to make a difference and I believe in the process of therapy. Divorce does not have to be the answer to your heartache and frustration.

Before you decide to give up I want to share with you 5 reasons why marriage counseling is worth a try...

The therapy room is a safe place. Often times couples just need a safe place to say what they have been feeling for months. It happens all the time where new discoveries are revealed in the therapy room that couples were afraid to say at home. Everyone knows that when you come to therapy then goal is honesty and so holding back is less of a problem. This openness allows the couple to be more transparent and transparency is the doorway to intimacy. Granted we may have to deal with some painful things on the way to intimacy but without transparency then intimacy is not possible.
You don't know what you are doing. Most of us are not taught how to do relationships. We are taught our abc's and mathematics but we are not intentionally and directly taught how to do relationships. As children, men are taught to be tough, emotionless and providers. Parents don't teach men how to share their emotions, or how to communicate in a way that she feels loved and heard. Men are not taught to think like a woman and be sensitive to her needs. Women are not taught how to do relationships either but they at least grow up thinking about romance. We learn some derivative of these things throughout our experiences with each other but more than likely it will not prepare us for marriage. So the fact that you have been doing it wrong should be a good reason to get professional help to learn to do it the right way before giving up on it.
Therapists are trained to see what you do not see and address what you are afraid to address. Often times while you are in the midst of your pain it is difficult to see a solution. Or, if you do see a solution it is only based on your limited understanding of your spouse, the opposite sex and the how things are supposed to be. You are not skilled at finding childhood connections to adult behaviors. Sometimes the issue is as small as listening differently. As a trained, unbiased 3rd party, you will have access to insight that you normally would not have if you tried working it out on your own.
Real marriage is not like Hollywood. When people have false expectations in marriage it is almost always because of a over-romanticized Hollywood view of marriage. Couples often think "If he/she loved me then they would just know what I need/think/feel." Real marriage takes focus and commitment. You may have to explain yourself, repeat yourself or express your needs in a way that you may think is basic and common sense. When you have these kind of preconceived ideas about how marriage should be you are destined to enter troubled waters because marriage is not always going to go the way you want or expect. False expectations fuel most conflicts.
Marriage counseling works! I know that I am biased in this opinion, however I also have experienced therapy personally and know this statement to be true. Of course "work" is subjective when it comes to marriage but there are very few situations in which therapy will not improve your marriage.

These are many other reasons and benefits to marriage counseling. No one gets married with divorce in mind. Therapy can help you have the marriage you signed up for. Hopefully this helps you if you have been on the fence about marriage counseling/therapy.