Don't Underestimate The Impact Of Your Childhood

When you were first born, you did not know how to do life on this planet. Everything about what it means to be human, and what it means to be "you" was learned after you arrived. When you got here you had to interact with broken people and they made you believe things about you that were not true. That’s the reality of every human.

But the problem is when you are living life as an adult but still trapped in the world of your childhood. When I say the "world" of your childhood I’m talking about your mind. Your world only exists in your mind.

For example, when your spouse tells you that they want more of your time... how you react to their request is based on how the request is processed in your inner world, regardless of what your spouse meant. If you have a core belief of, "I'm not good enough," then your response will likely be a negative response.

The thing about life and relationships is, if you learn it wrong you will live it wrong. So if your mom yelled at you when she was angry, you could have developed the subconscious belief that yelling is normal AND it is what you deserve.

People mistakingly think that the only people with childhood issues are those that have been molested, abandoned or grew up with an alcoholic. Do not underestimate the impact of your childhood.

Here are some signs that you may have some limiting beliefs from childhood:

  1. You get angry fast
  2. You are hurt when your partner notices you are not perfect
  3. You don’t share your thoughts and feelings
  4. You tend to go along to get along
  5. You are a people pleaser
  6. You don’t know who you are
  7. Everybody in your circle or family depends on you
  8. You don't have healthy relationships around you
  9. You are not kind with yourself
  10.  You don’t trust God

These could all be a sign that your inner world is not ok and will wreak havoc on your marriage. You will put unnecessary pressure and expectations on your spouse that they cannot fulfill. For example, trying to get your spouse to love you when you don’t love you. Or, you want your partner to value you, but you don’t value you. Without looking in the mirror, you will think that they are mistreating you when actually YOU are mistreating yourself.

If you are going to have a successful marriage, then you cannot underestimate the impact your childhood has on you. Do the work to become better.