You may not be aware of this, but we live the majority of our lives on autopilot. Not because we are lazy, but because our brain is masterful at being efficient. Once we learn something well enough, our brain moves it to the 'automatic processing area (APA),' also known as the subconscious. This means that the body can carry out tasks without intentional cognitive brain power.

For example, when you get up to walk, you do not think about telling your legs to move. But the reason that new walkers (infants / toddlers) walk like zombies is because they are thinking about the steps they take. When you are driving your car, you are not thinking, "ok that's a stop sign, step on the brakes with my right foot." You do it without thinking about it because that behavior is now in the APA.

Your brain wants to make life as effortless as possible. This helps us do life much more efficiently. However, there are areas of life that you cannot be successful at if you are doing life on autopilot. When it comes to relationships, particularly marriage, operating from the subconscious will land you weaken your marriage.

Do you realize that you guys do not have to fight to become distant? Just do nothing and you will naturally drift apart. That's just how things work on this planet. Anything left to itself without being acted upon will gravitate towards chaos. If you plant a garden and leave it alone, the weeds will take over. If you do not brush your teeth, they will eventually fall out of your head, even if you never eat any sugar.

In the same way, your marriage will begin to weaken and become stagnant if you are not intentional about the way you do marriage. The only way to do that is to make a commitment to be a conscious partner and being intentional with your love.